Premiership Football Team manager

Trafford, Greater Manchester (European travel unlikely)
£to attract the best + Performance Bonuses + Travel

Outstanding opportunity for a proven football manager, with a win-what-may attitude, to join a top-flight professional club team as Manager.

Founded in 1878, this multi-award/trophy winning football club is the country’s most successful professional football club, third richest club in the world as well as one of the top 10 brands around the globe.

Following recent developments, a third opportunity has now arisen to lead this sector defining team in as many years.

Reporting directly to the Club’s Senior Management team as well as the club’s US owners and shareholders (NYSE Listed), The Manager will be at the very forefront of football decision-making, whether it be selecting the first team for match day, performing team reviews (including disciplinary actions) or managing the expectations of a global fanbase both active and passive.

Objectives

  • Succeed in a major tournament (semi-finals or above).
  • Find a way of motivating experienced players so they can perform together, or at least perform.
  • Implement a plan A playing formation (4-4-2, although others will be considered. The inclusion of Fellaini/Depay deemed highly optional).
  • Implement a plan B playing formation (this should include a defence).
  • Beat Manchester City
  • Work closely with Journalists to ensure brilliant positive PR is achieved. A strong, barely understandable regional/international accent is preferable, applicants will be required to repeat the phrases “I take full responsibility” and “We were unlucky today”. Overuse of the word “Hope” will lead to instant rejection.
  • Compile a pre-written defensive rebuttal. The options “You cannot say that the fans are not right. They are right and of course they are right to be disappointed and they have the right to boo me. It was not good today. It was not good last time.” and “I was not hurt. You don’t understand my message. My message is that the message the media are saying that does not conform with my message and the message of what is happening” have already been used.

Applicants must be leaders in their field. Whether in Football or other similar team-based sports or in commerce. Successful business leaders will be considered if they can demonstrate:

  • Verifiable leadership capabilities, preferably within a highly narcissistic environment.
  • The ability to communicate through energetic hand-signals (mouthing key words permitted).
  • The ability to look good in either a continental-style suit & tie with woolen pull-over and scarf;…or a true British knee-length padded jacket. Applicants favouring SheepSkin coats will be fast-tracked to second interview.

Applicants must be highly organised, energetic and motivated football people with a distinct ability to make the most of the playing resources available (without blaming age/injuries/the weather/relative’s bunions). It is not essential that you possess previous international management football experience as it is unlikely to be required until at least 2018, however, you must be able to demonstrate a background of achieving at club level as a Manager, Translator, Caretaker (football or school), Director of Football, highly vocal arm-chair pundit, championship winner at Football Manager (2012-onwards) or similar.

Understanding ‘the beautiful game’ from grass-roots level upwards, you should be the type of person who thrives under pressure and is totally at home in the public eye, whether this is at an official interview or street heckling.

My client offers a high pressured yet rewarding working environment. In return they offer huge investment in staff and staff development. The new manager will be mentored by famed Dutch national coach AP Rilfuul.

NB: We are particularly interested in hearing from high performing English Club Managers (preferably with exemplary tax histories and non-root-vegetable appearances) currently occupying a top 6 Premier League position, although applicants from Merseyside need not apply.

Apply by email or by using the form below

Application deadline: 12 noon, 1/4/16. Applications received after that time will not be considered.

Gary Chaplin Manchester United

<span>%d</span> bloggers like this: